Smiling
I have been doubting myself due to some people I have encountered, and I literally decided TODAY to not allow that to happen any longer. At the end of 2018, I started thinking more about myself and what I need to do for ME. Yes, I do have a family, and people I love, but I have always done things for others before thinking about myself.
At the beginning of this year I said it and I believe it. I feel the FIRE and the strength to make it my year.
To be honest, I have to smile at the moment because I cannot believe that I allowed these human beings to really make me feel like I could not do it. (I know it’s not ok for them to be like that with me, but I also know they are human and I will not allow myself to make judgements. They may also possibly be going through something and I don’t know it). A feeling as if I am wasting my time with my plans. I am just thinking how ridiculous this sounds. How a 27 year young woman still allows herself to be put down. Maybe sad actually.
BUT… little by little I am learning.
My mind has so many ideas. I have been told I have such an entrepreneurial mind. I have been told that I am amazing because of all the things I already do and what I have been capable of doing up to this point. The possibility that these people are some of THE MOST IMPORTANT in my life is also a factor as to why almost my whole day felt like crap. I didn’t even feel like going to workout!
This is not about them, so I will not continue to complain or cry about these people making me feel bad.
As a young Hispanic Woman, who grew up in an emotionally abusive family, it has been difficult to stand up for myself, but as I said I will not complain or cry anymore. That feeling that that kind of relationship is normal is now something I am aware of. So allowing others to put me down is not something I am accepting any longer.
I will smile though because I have realized just in time that this will not happen again. Tomorrow I will be at the gym making sure I do what I love and need for myself.
I am just thinking and feeling that this… 2019 is my year. So many changes have been happening in my life. So many adjustments and new things in my life.
I am smiling because I am part of a book that will include a chapter for me that I wrote. I am smiling because I ended a failed business, but I learned from it too. I am smiling because that business is really only on pause and going to take a different approach to it.
I woke up this morning and smiled because I was able to wake up next to the Love of my life. I was able to wake up to a new day. To a new day closer to all my goals and dreams. I have so many things coming at such a high speed that I do have to figre out how to take control of it all. How to reign it in.
It’s only the second week of January and since I decided to share the end of one journey and the start of another, people have actually been reaching out. There have been those that do genuinely want to help. Smile because even in the lowest parts of your journey there is someone that can help you up.
It’s the second week of January and my mind is clear on my next step in my entrepreneur journey. Just like everyone I have a lot going on, but I have to keep at it.
I may not be able to dedicate my whole day to it yet since I do have two jobs, but I am putting in as much time as the day will allow me.
I smile because even with an Autoimmune Disease and a Genetic Disease, I get to keep waking up and feeling perfectly fine. I smile because even through the anxiety, I am not alone.
Lots of dreams and goals and little by little they are happening. I don’t expect to wake up tomorrow and everything be accomplished already, but I have my whole life ahead of me to do all of them.
As corny as all this may sound, I am just happy to smile and maybe make someone’s day a little better.
“Smile. It’s free therapy”
- Douglas Horton
